


A Lie You Believed In

by VulpBard



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Related, Coming of Age, Depression, False Memories, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mystery, Other, Recovered Memories, References to Depression, Repressed Memories, Slurs, Social Commentary, Spoilers, Trauma, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VulpBard/pseuds/VulpBard
Summary: Kokichi Ouma has been eliminated from the Killing Game and the audience doesn't know. It's all a trick, you see. The problem now is returning to the Real World and being nobody. Back into a world that is full of Hope and Despair that might as well be lies to him. Him being alive is proof that everyone who did die is with him. He isn't the same person he was on the show and nor could he believe he could be anyone else...Unless that changes somehow.A Danganronpa story set after the events of V3 and a What If? scenario of how people trying to live their new lives, all while coming to terms with the lives they had lived, died, and maybe killed. Inspired by the doujin by v3hisa121 as well as かわち on Pixiv, this story of pain, angst, desire, and change will ask you one question:"Are we really alive and ourselves?"
Kudos: 20





	1. A Mastermind's Gambit

**Author's Note:**

> This story is both a divergence and a canon-supporting story. In my opinion, this could support what Kazutaka Kodaka's message for the ending of V3 was but that is subjective and instead how I wish to explore the characters and if the duality of their lives against how the world had used them as fictional characters. This also goes by Kodaka's "real world" in the series, not necessarily the real world. Whether or not you interpret the message of this story personally, please consider that this is a work of fiction and could be metaphoric or a simile of what could be. If you resonate with this story, I would most appreciate it very much. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and I hope that you will enjoy it up till the end of its writing.

Industrial presses hurt, even though they don’t kill you. What good reason was there to die this way when I could have Kaito just stab me with the bundle of arrows and wash the tips?

No, even Shuichi would see everything plainly in the class trial.

I’m close to beating the mastermind anyway, so I might as well go through with this… But why the hell am I doubting myself right now?! It’s not like me to even do this! I was dying. Goddamn you Maki. Goddamn you Kaito. Goddamn the mastermind. I swallowed my last bit of saliva, breathed in my last bit of air, tasted the last bit of coppery blood in my mouth, felt the cold iron against my skin, saw the industrial press now about to crush my body into-

“STOP!”

The power went out and we had heard a voice. I felt a sharp scratch on my arm and a cold flow of liquid coming through.

“Well, you nearly ruined the entire show for everyone!”

Tsumugi?

The lights turned on and several men in black overalls carried my body onto a stretcher and pointed a flashback light to my eyes. Then, I remembered everything once again. Inadequacy, betrayal, and just outright despair. I knew I was Kokichi Ouma, but…

“Kokichi Ouma, you are hereby eliminated from Danganronpa V3. Now, you’ve sworn by our Non-Disclosure Agreement to not speak of your involvement in this show and killing game. You no longer exist, got it? You’re insignificant and nobody cares about you. Thank you for playing!” She had the most eerie smile. She was the mastermind and I wanted to vomit.

“W-wait… Y-you’re behind all this?! You- You can’t just-” Kaito was stuttering and sweating in fear at the sight. I remembered how enthusiastic he was to join this game.

I smiled with the best attempt to try to be a good sport. “Hey, you did great Kaito… Hell, you finally got what you wanted.” Then, I was pulled away and into a maintenance tunnel as I slowly lost consciousness. Who would have thought Kaito would have pulled off a crime that could win him the whole season? I left him my lines...my plan… No. That was Kokichi Ouma’s lines and plan. Then… The blackout light hit Kaito.

I don’t exist.


	2. i hate liars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi's return to a normal life makes him sick.   
> Another pounding to his head... And a reminder of "dying".

I woke up with the feeling of being crushed, gasping awake and clutching on my hospital bed. While I recovered, everything was explained to me that Team Danganronpa would at least pay for my expenses and that Tsumugi Shirogane was decommissioned, memories wiped, and that the company would dissolve due to the ending.

The End of Danganronpa huh? That’s dumb. Hell, I was one of the voices screaming into Keebo’s survey. When it all ended, I was back to my normal life, walking back from my dorm...school… People barely even noticed who I was or talked to me. Everyone called me Ouma-kun, but never thought I was THAT Kokichi Ouma. The one thing Shirogane never touched in my memories was that I did run away from home.

I told them I hated them and that I was going to audition for Danganronpa.

“Hi… My name is Kokichi Ouma. I’m… a reluctant viewer of the show, but I always loved the twists and turns from it all. There were times where I wished I was just as charismatic and exciting as Junko Enoshima. I’m not saying I should be cast as- No. I want to be cast as the Mastermind, but if that isn’t an option, then I want to be someone people hated so much. I don’t have friends, my family despises me, and all because they lied to me. Everyone lies to me and I hate liars so much I would kill anyone who would lie to me. But… that doesn’t matter to me anymore. So… listen up. I want to die and I don’t care how awful I become in this game. Thank you.”

And when I was taken… That was my new life. It occurred to me how pointless this show was betting your insignificant life to make a new name for yourself. Sure, there were a few people who did emerge from the games popular and wealthy, but when you’re a nobody, you just end up killing that chance. That was the truth to Danganronpa. It was a lie-factory where nobody dies and this false sense of hope and despair? God, people are so vain and pathetic thinking you can’t feel those things at all.

That’s because the world doesn’t want to feel anything anymore or acknowledge how people feel. Dying was just one experience but it was just as bad as a temporary despair. Everything is so temporary that everyone risks bullshit over and over. This morning, I kept imagining myself getting crushed over and over by Kaito. I wondered what life he returned to. I punched the concrete walls and tried to snap myself out of the thought.

“Shut up Kokichi… You can’t be that clever in real life… It was all a lie. You can’t keep lying to yourself that it was something that made you truly feel alive!” I was growing more and more impatient and unworthy to feel. “I hate liars...If I keep lying to myself...I hate myself. I don’t want to… I don’t…” I clenched my fist and slumped down by the toilet and began crying again.

Kokichi Ouma, absolute nobody. Get your ass up from the floor and move on.  
That was what I wanted to say but as I got out of the stall, I looked up and saw him. It’s always surreal to see someone you knew came from a fictional world, but it’s also surreal to know that he was the person who had “murdered” you...More or less. Still, I did find it poetic to have an assisted suicide.

“I could’ve won if it weren’t for your moves, Ouma.” Kaito said with a disappointed tone.

“Yeah… Sorry about that. It’s a real shame and you were so close to winning if it weren’t for that personality they wrote for you,” I said with a sigh and tried to move past him, only to be stopped.

Everything was still besides the sound of dropping water from the drain.

“Let go of me, Kaito,” I said, not wanting to face him at all. I didn’t want to be reminded of all the horrible things I did to him. No matter what had happened, everything there was real and I didn’t want to accept that. It’s not who I really was.

“No...I just… wanted to tell ya… If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have ended the show,” he said and gripped down on my shoulder. “I don’t know where Shuichi or Maki… or anybody else who participated in the Killing School Semester is, but I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to see how we could all move on from this and I know we’ve changed from-”

“Shut...up,” I stuttered at first. “Shut the fuck up, Kaito.” Now, my tone being firm and assertive like how the fictional me acted.

Kaito crossed his arms and looked at me with annoyance, yet he was patient, looking at me as if he was waiting for more things for me to say. That kind of stopped my heart briefly and the vision of me being pressed kept replaying over and over…

“I… I don’t think I’m ready to become the person I am. I mean, you saw what Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko were like post-end credits. They learned things, while all of us who died... They probably never had the chance to grow that way and going back to this life is inconsequential and insignificant. I wanted to die being someone but we failed. You didn’t get your fame and fortune, I didn’t actually die… So what’s the point of trying to be someone different?”

Kaito clenched his fist and punched me. This was a feeling I felt familiar with.

“Don’t you dare think your life is insignificant. Didn’t dying change your perspective at all?”

I stayed quiet.

“I don’t even care, Kaito. If you talk to me again-”

“Ever thought of seeing people who understand you while you actually become someone?” From the corner of my eye, I saw Kokichi Ouma. My head stung and I crouched down pulling at my hair as my vision began to flash and the walls began to go like a negative photograph. The walls were crudely sketched with purple eyes, the blood splatters, and then… in front of me was myself.

“I mean, sure big deal I died and all but… At least I had friends,” Fictional Kokichi said with a wide grin. “You’re a pathetic nobody without any talents, but you’ve seen many of these Killing Games that you saw friends overcoming despair. So why not make an effort and… you know fix your pathetic self?”

“Sh-shut up… You’re not real…” I protested.

“Kokichi… hey… Did I punch you too hard? C’mon… I know you’re…” Kaito’s voice got muffled and I felt a sharp pain all across my body up to the back of my head.

“Oh, but I am real. Your pain, grief, all of that… You saw the season finale and you’re just rejecting what you were struggling with this whole time… And you know how much I hate liars, especially when I know the worst version of myself is the worst kind. So I’m going to make a bet with you.” He faded out of existence before flashing forward in front of me and pushing me down against the wall.

“Stop lying to yourself and accept us.”

And as everything went to black and I was beginning to lose consciousness… I thought:

What was there to accept when the memories felt wrong?


	3. Resolutions and Alliances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over a box of bento, Kokichi and Kaito reach an understanding.

Over the following weeks, I had tried to cope with my life away from my old home. Nowadays, I live in a dormitory and was told that any of its finances were being handled by Team Danganronpa’s post game financial plan. I don’t understand their altruism very well, nor do I really give a damn. Every time, I go to school, people act as if the games never happened and that the fifty-third season was “not canon”. I sighed and moved along to the train to school. My train was about two stops away from campus so most of the time, I had to get up early. If I remembered right, my previous home was in a different prefecture and the house I lived in was a pathetic excuse for it.

The classes weren’t even fun to me as I slowly slipped back into the cracks of insignificance. Everyone around me feels the same but immediately breaks into a smile and says that one day they would become something greater, some inspired to join Danganronpa (still in denial), and no matter how many times I want to yell at them, telling them it was over, I never had the strength and moved along. Part of my routine was buying a bento and going up to the roof to eat. Sometimes, I don’t eat at all and save my money. I work at a convenience store just to keep up with my food, laundry, and other expenses but it wasn’t too hard. I’m fine with being a drone but I don’t understand why I keep living. You’d think that being in a Killing Game and losing would make you lose faith but I feel more alive, even for a “fictional character”.

I laid the bento on my lap and put on my earphones, trying to block out any sounds coming from the campus, but I didn’t ignore my surroundings. I kept looking around to see how people were living their lives. While I didn’t hear their words, I knew they were talking about their insignificant lives and how pointless they think it is. Why were they so happy about it? Why do they relish in peace while feeling really vain? In some ways, it reminded me how Miu acted and reminded me about how I forced Gonta to kill her.

A flash happened.

“Stop! Stop Gonta!” A voice called out.

“G-Gonta needs to kill…”

Then the flashback light happened.

“Now, you don’t need to really kill her, silly! Our lawyers wouldn’t approve of that…”

Then Gonta and I were hit by the blackout light.

I wondered how much of my mind was hiding all these memories or… if just like the final chapter Shuichi was in, slowly regained some of his memories. I blinked the thought away and ate my bento trying not to think of how much I’ve caused to hurt Miu with that attack. I wondered how far she was and if I could somehow make amends for what I did, even if she tried to kill me.

“Hey…” Kaito snapped me out and sat next to me and I took off my headphones. I scooted away, giving him a mixed message that I didn’t want to be around him. Really, all I wanted was to give him space. He rambled on how I was the one who shouldn’t be antagonizing but I shook my head.

“No...I wanted to give you space,” I explained with a meek tone.

“O-oh… My bad then… So, how...how are you feeling? Ever since I brought you to the nurse’s office, you seemed to be doing just fine.” He inquired and I didn’t want to make him feel like I was crazy, saying all these hallucinations of my fictional self kept following me around from time to time but he went through what I did, so we might have to talk about it.

“Yeah, I’m...fine for the most part. It’s just, I think Team Danganronpa’s flashback lights really give you some really weird side effects. Like, have you begun seeing you from the Killing Game? The one who died?”

“Him? Every time. Hell, he keeps going on about how I shouldn’t slack around and that one day, we’re really going to kick things off and that I need to find Shuchi and Maki Ro-...Maki. I tried contacting what’s left of Team Danganronpa but I keep getting this stupid message on how they’re focusing on post-production. Like hell, I would take that for an answer… But, I decided while waiting… I should probably look for the others anyway.”

I nodded. “Good to know. Hell, how did we even get into the same school? Didn’t we used to go to other places?”

“From the looks of it, They wanted to keep us all from returning to our old lives just like that. So I guess the last twelve of us went to different schools,” Kaito thought, then immediately snapped. “Wait, do you think we all got paired up to go to one high school?”

I was surprised. That was really smart and while I heard my fictional self yelling at me to insult him, I chose not to. “If that’s the case… Let’s think of how we were put around. Let’s begin with eliminating the survivors. So Maki, Shuichi, and Himiko are probably not on the list. Tsumugi, from what I heard, got her memories wiped as well and we’ll have to include her.”

He nodded and took out a notebook, turned to the back and tore off a page to begin writing it down.

“Then, there’s us, right? I didn’t see anyone else from the game in this school, so it’s safe to assume our hypothesis is working as intended so far.” I move closer and put my bento to the side to help him. Fictional Kokichi was giggling next to me in amusement. I watched Kaito write down all the names.

“Yeah… I mean the first pattern I’m thinking here… is murderer and victim. And I know I killed you.” Kaito tapped the pen down restlessly onto the notebook and thought. I can see he’s resisting to look at me after he mentioned murdering.

I tried to speak up about it… But we need to test this idea.

“If that’s the case, Miu and Gonta should be together, Ryouma and Kirumi too, but… That leaves Korekiyo, Tenko, and Angie… As well as Kaede, Rantaro, and Tsumugi. But, I don’t think they would keep Tsumugi near them since she would be… you know. Murdered for real,” I explained.

Kaito growled at how little we knew and threw his notebook back into his bag. “Okay, well… We have a basis for now and maybe we can track down anyone possibly paired together, alright? Also, We should check the Danganronpa Forums, maybe we could reach them. I mean… We were all fans, right? If that’s the case, we all probably have accounts to track. If anything happens, you call me.” He took out his phone and handed it to me and we exchanged numbers.

Then, everything was quiet again, except for my restless foot tapping as I went to reach for my food.

“Hey... I was wondering, how did you survive?” I asked Kaito while offering to share my bento.

Kaito felt cold as he took a deep breath and said, “You first.”

I told him...reluctantly and he was surprised to find out what he did at the time. He clenched his fist and crossed his arms. “I’m… really disappointed in myself.” I saw the immense regret in his eyes before he shut them and looked down.

I didn’t want him to feel awful. “D-don’t. If anything, we had been outmatched and screwed over by Them anyway. Plus, if you caused any trouble, I might have died for real from the poisoning.”

Kaito realized that even though all the deaths were fake, the possibility of it was too real.

He then began explaining how he survived. Or rather… How he was brought back.

==

“Miss Shirogane, honestly this was too much and you really shouldn’t have included that in his writing!”

“I’m aware of that! We won’t be using this plotline again and be sure to give extra compensation to him since this could have screwed us over and be sure that he won’t talk about this. Add an extra clause on the NDA for all I care! I need to get back on set, Keebo is going to go irate and I need to be there before the whole place blows up!”

Kaito told me he could hear explosions, then silence as he was brought to an operating room, strapped down to the bed. The bright lights of the operating room impaired his vision but he was temporarily awake as he felt the nanomachines flow with the medicine being injected into him. He remembered the disease to have no cure and he did feel a near death and doctors mumbling about irreplaceable damage to his lungs. Then, the flashback light hit him and his heart rate increased heavily. Then the defibrillator constantly encourages visions showing everyone he had met and everyone he forgot.

By the time he woke up, his head was hazy and stumbled around trying to get up from bed, but it took him far longer to get discharged from the hospital than any of us. From what he heard, he was the last person to get out. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like being impatiently waiting and being discharged without having anyone to get home to.

Then, he got on the same bus service and carried on with the same life I lived, apparently his consolation prize was a small house to live in as well as spending cash that would probably set yourself for life if you’re wise enough to live your average life. Although he did say that he might consider using it to make a name for himself instead. What I got was almost similar but the housing was more about me staying in my dorm for free and having money after graduating.

==

“Those bastards should pay for what they did to you, Kaito. They...nearly killed you for real and hell, if…” I was less angry and more worried about his safety. “... If I ever see Tsumugi again, I’ll…”

My head was ringing and I clutched onto my bento as I tried to steady myself. The world was spinning a little and I did see the world in the same way I saw last week in the bathroom but I learned to control it. I could hear my fictional self laughing at me and I began crying. Kaito took my bento and allowed me to regain my composure slowly. My hands shook while I tugged on my hair before I pulled back up to a cool breath.

But that’s not all. I knew he wanted an answer.

“So have you considered it? Being like little old me? Come on Kokichi~! What’s a bit of hurting for revenge going to sacrifice? I mean, true it makes you an immoral monster, but whoever did something great doing the right thing?”

I remained quiet and wiped my tears as I stared into his grim smirk. I see the blood pouring from his head. I smiled and looked at him back with a similar grin. Everything was muffled in the background but I could hear him clearly. I got up and looked at what he wore and thought… Maybe the scarf on me would be a start.

“You’re wrong about being a murderer, remember? D.I.C.E doesn’t kill people,” I say as I walk closer. The surrounding people began to look, with some almost confused. Was that Kokichi Ouma? No way… He can’t be real. Must be someone practicing their cosplay… But it’s so convincing!

I wanted to laugh but I had to accept him slowly. I can’t be him... But I can admire what he was. Cunning, smart, and took those risks proudly. I’m not a selfish liar, and I want to slowly accept what I can. I reached forward to touch his hand but felt the dizziness in my brain grow stronger. I wasn’t completely ready to accept him and I’ve yet to apply his personality with conviction. Then, I remembered the people I hurt both in and out the class trials. He fizzled out of my vision and I turned to Kaito.

“I’ll help you out finding everyone, but I want some favors,” I said with a small smirk. It wasn’t the cunning grin that I was known for but it was a start.

He was tense, unsure of my current plan.

“Name it,” he said with a low tone.

“I...want you to be my friend, no strings attached. If we’re going to work together, we might as well be there for each other.” I held my hand out to him. Slowly, he got up and shook my hand.

“This… isn’t a trick like how you acted in the games, right?”

“I’m a terrible liar right now, Kaito. I know I’m not fully understanding who I can be, but we can discover that together when we and the others work together for that. Right now, I feel appreciative for even being together. But that’s not the point. We were in a game where our lives were treated as entertainment, and I’m sick of it. I’m sure your sidekicks can agree with that.”

Kaito laughed. “I’m sure they do, and I miss them. But, I’ll be sure,” he paused and stood still for a moment. “...I’ll be sure to see that they get to be with me, Kaito Momota...Shit, what did I call myself?”

“Luminary of the Stars?”

“Luminary of the S-Stars!” He tried to yell it and smile proudly.

A girl approached him and then asked, “Wow~! That was an almost great impression of Kaito! I mean, between you and me? I didn’t hate Season 53 as much. Maybe you should get into voice acting!”

Kaito felt embarrassed, “N-Nah, I was just… you know, talking about my favorite character from the show…”

“Really? I mean he was great, but I preferred Maki, she was really cool.”

I giggled lightly, “Irony, much?”

“Shut up, Kokichi,” he barked at me and I shrugged nervously.

And as the school bell rang, we moved our separate ways, as our plan was set in motion.

We were going to find our friends and discover who we are for our futures.


	4. Lies From A Screen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito and Kokichi search the Danganronpa Forums and find a lead.

I was laying down on my small bed and this tiny dorm, scrolling through the forums. I promised to look things for Kaito while he was trying his best to track down Maki, Himiko, and Shuichi. I don’t know how he’s going to do that but I have to trust him somehow, no matter how illogical Fictional-Me has been complaining from across the room. He’s a lot more vivid but less like a hallucination and more of an internal voice. He was at least pleased I got a similar scarf to his.

The pattern was purple instead of the black and white one. Ever since then, people have been buying his pattern, making it harder to find. When I wore it, very few paid attention to me, with a guy remarking, “You know, if you wore a black and white one, you would probably look a lot like Ouma from 53… But I don’t think it’s that popular since it’s the last season.” Even a part of me felt disappointed because it felt just as heavy as the words I saw on the forums.

“I didn’t really like 53 at all, it was just trying to be so outlandish and meta that it’s just a load of bullshit in my opinion. Plus, Kaede was such a waste, she was best waifu and it wasn’t even fair that she gets killed off by Tsumugi. Like fuck man… It’s rare to even have female characters. 22 had a better cast. Easily one of my Top 15 Worst Seasons.”

“You’re assuming female characters are the only way to make a Danganronpa season work. No wonder you liked 22 LOL. They all had nice designs and bodies that I totally wanted to commission a body pillow. Too bad I didn’t have the money for the commission.”

“stfu you misogynist u ppl are objetcifing women like that and anon was right tho 22 had the best cast because they all wrnt even focused on the friggin fanservice this time.”

“Explain 27 then, it was a fucking sausage fest and when a bunch of guys complained we were being homophobic *Eyeroll*”

Those were tame discussions compared to the real hate mobs in the lower forums.

“I hated Tsumugi sooooooo much. If I were in the killing game, I would hang her by a rope over Korekiyo stew and but her over it.”

“If I were in the killing game, I would strangle Shuichi with my bare hands and shove his fucking hat up his ass. It’s his fault 53 ended the series and fuck Team Danganronpa for streaming the finale so late. Like oof sorry I had to fucking cram a bunch of papers that night. I would have helped get the despair ending.”

“Kokichi is a rat bastard for killing Gonta. He was my pure cinnamon roll of a husband like so what? You did that all to flex your fucking shotacon smartass muscles? You’re not Togami you fucking tard. If I could kill him over again, I would take Kaito’s role as the blackened and make his death worse than that press.”

And surprisingly, that wasn’t the worst for me and I wasn’t as upset with that statement. The worst one was a full essay on describing how I was an underdeveloped character and that I wasn’t even worthy to be a character. The main points were all about how manipulative, creepy, and a “representative to toxic masculinity”. It wasn’t well thought out either but it was sort of one of the few things representing me besides “omg I love him he’s a lying gremlin”.

I wanted to integrate with my fictional self somehow but I don’t really know how with all this backlash to my actions in the game. I had to make a personality somehow but I can’t be this blank slate. Sure, Tsumugi said that I was nobody, but I don’t want to believe that anymore. Try being in a Killing Game and let’s see how far your personality develops when you get murdered or be wrongfully executed via ironic punishments.

I really wanted to write back, tell them how everyone was wrong… But I can’t waste my energy. Not while Kaito is trying and also relying on me to find our friends. I took a deeper breath and decided to search the chatrooms. If anything, I would need to rely on looking for personalities and how people acted.

And it took hours.

People were more or less just repeating the same shit on the forums and I tried to blend in. I shouldn’t make it obvious and put my username as “Kokichi_Ouma” or whatever. So I had to think… Surprisingly, the abundance of Monotaro usernames were a bit more scarce. I waited… Some people were dedicated to making memes and shitposts but I was just watching carefully, sometimes laughing at my friends being put in memes.

Then, it happened. The first person I saw entered a chatroom and I got a text...Kaito.

Kaito:[Srry I’m late. I was finishing up this paper. What’s ur user?]

Me:[It’s Monotaro587. What’s yours?]

Kaito: [Aight]  
[so we’re looking for the survivors or…??]  
[oh and its LuminaryStarBoi41]

Really, Kaito?

Me: [yeah kinda??? Idk tho just keep an eye out. I think it’s easier to find the survivors at least]

Kaito: [kk I’ll DM you if I see anything.]

The next set of people who entered was someone who seemed to act a lot like a character from Season 37 but obviously, that’s not what we’re looking for, then one that acted like a memed up version of Chiaki, then…

Kaito: [Holy shit dude I think I found Maki. kk brb, I need to talk to her.]

“He’s really thirsty, ya know.” Fictional me said and I shrugged. He did have a point but then again, if you were to find a friend who you truly cared for after a long time, it’s understandable to have that reaction.

I rolled my eyes and decided to talk in the chat room while waiting or weeding out any potential people... Even if it was a room with over 50 people, I had to try.

Me: Hi~!

“Really, Kokichi? Hi? You gotta exert a bit more effort than that!” The Voice complained.

“Then you do it then. Oh wait, you’re a hallucination and can’t take physical objects,” I snapped back at him.

“Whatever poseur, just listen to me if you want to look for your “friends” and everything would work out in the end, alright?” I sighed and sat up as if I was helping him look at the screen with me.

NanamiGaming22103: A Monotaro stan lmao lol hi. Idk man just chilling n gaming… u?  
Monotaro587: Burying a dead body lmaaaaooooo  
NanamiGaming22103: Oof r u burying my hopes n dreams lol  
Monotaro587: Ya and im gonna bone ur mom tonite lol  
NanamiGaming22103: But Kirumi’s my mom big oofs  
Monotaro587: i thought she was my mom  
NanamiGaming22103: nooo Miu’s ur mom remember  
Monotaro587: True tho???

“This isn’t going anywhere!” I complained.

“Ugh. Just pass time first, the chat’s not going anywhere and you might as well try and be around people.”

And I did wait and soon after, I got a text from Kaito.

Kaito: [No dice… Turns out this person was just roleplaying or whatever]

Me: [Fuck… That blows. Look, let’s take shifts. You take a break while I take an hour to look and you can… idk make dinner or whatever. Did you eat yet?]

Kaito: [Oh wow didnt know u cared like that. Ya haha i forgot to eat.]  
[… ur really nice irl tbh lol]

Me: [I don’t think so Kaito lol… I’m really not that kindhearted imo. I barely care about my dorm mates]

Kaito: [well u could be.]  
[New life right?]

I smiled while trying not to tear up a bit. He thinks too highly of me and is incredibly hopeful. But I can’t let that distract me.

Me: [lol...we’ll see. Ok. go eat first.]

Back in the chatroom, I kept going and chatting, following the chat, and I decided to ask if anyone knew what happened to the survivors of 53. The room began ranting about how awful the season was and couldn’t possibly be canon. Some people say everyone was played by a certain actor but didn’t get it credited. One person began talking about how my “actor” was actually a misogynist playboy and that he had abused so many people… And I felt annoyed being associated with that rumor that I tried to ignore it all together.

Then someone sent me a DM.

[You know those characters aren’t real right?] Someone by the name of CrystalKuma510 told me.

“Like your mom?”

“Shut up. Lemme take the helm this time. No one just DMs you like that and we need to exhaust this possibility.”

Kaito was coming back on in fifteen minutes and I had to take advantage of this.

Me: [Sure, but if we had to go by how they felt... They were probably real.]

CrystalKuma510: [You’re really sentimental over fictional characters. Did it really move you that much?]

Me: [Move isn’t the word I’m looking for. More like… I empathized it, almost firsthand.]

CrystalKuma510: [Lol what are you psychic?]

Me: [You’d wish but a 33% accuracy just doesn’t feel right.]

CrystalKuma510: [Lol… Ok then. Glad you have some sense of humor. Who did you relate to in 53? Or… really understood?]

Me: [Kokichi. But understanding him doesn’t feel...like the right word.]

CrystalKuma510: [Hmm… Ok. Add me as a friend on this app... I want to chat more...and in video. Trust me on this one. I think I know what you’re looking for.]

Who could this be?

And I did, taking a leap but I coordinated with Kaito to join me in this. We got in a group call and CrystalKuma didn’t question it. Then… The call.

“Okay… So who are you?” I opened and both their cameras were still off except for mine.

Kaito came on after a couple minutes and he was eating an energy bar.

“Sup Kokichi. Was stumbling,” he chewed. “Through my settings.”

Then her voice came on and my heart stopped. “And you two aren’t wearing cosplays?”

I hesitantly shook my head and Kaito’s eyes widened but had to shake his head quickly, he was almost too happy to hear her voice. It wasn’t too big of a progress to our search but at least it was someone who was in our situation.

Kaede’s video feed came on and she began crying a little.

“I-I thought I’d never get to see you guys again…” she choked a bit and had to take time to compose herself. “W-well… I still hold it against you, Kokichi. You kinda made me confess there!” He tried to giggle a bit.

I smiled and couldn’t help joining her and so did Kaito.

“When did you leave the hospital? I had to recover from the execution a little… My neck’s still a bit bruised but it’ll heal.” She said, revealing the robe burns underneath a scarf.

“I got out after the finale. Kaito said he had to recover for a couple weeks but… yeah. We’re alive and we go to the same school now,” and then I explained what we were doing while Kaito tried his best to recover. Honestly, he was a sobbing mess that he had to get off camera just to look better.

“No shit! When I saw the broadcast, I was really scared to see Kaito die like that! It was really cool watching it all happen but… After what Shuichi did… I felt really guilty enjoying it.”

“Ah… No sweat, I’m glad I got to at least entertain ya, Kaede!” Kaito sniffled but tried to put a big boy face.

I couldn’t help but keep tearing up and laughing.

“So, Kaede. I need to ask you a couple questions so we could keep this going. First off, why Crystal Kuma?”

She rolled her eyes, “Okay look it was just a phase but I really liked the Ultimate Glass Blower. His character was so cool and all and I totally had a crush on him. His execution sucked though!”

Figures.

“Riiight, and... You have those hallucinations, right? Seeing your fictional self?”

She went quiet and crossed her arms.

“Yeah… But not too much I think, and I get really angry even seeing her. It didn’t feel right.” Her tone was dismal and undesirable. “Do you guys get hallucinations? I don’t really see her at times.”

I thought for a moment. She barely sees her fictional self?

“Well duh. She didn’t have time to develop her fictional self. I’m a lot more vivid because you were alive longer, dingus!” Fictional self said.

“Oh… Well that figures. You didn’t spend too much time in the game. So... Let’s move on, did you get to see any of the others?” Kaito and I were looking at her with anticipation.

“Yeah... Actually! It was Rantaro. He was a bit more smug but he hid the secret to his death until the finale aired and he approached me after I watched it. Then, I just felt like shit because it was such a dirty move!”

“Kaito, she just confirmed our idea!” I clasped my hands in victory. We explained the pairing idea and she began to get excited, saying that it was like a real mystery we’re solving.

“And we go to school in the same prefecture at least… Okay, so we need to pin down our locations so we can all meet up together. This time… We need to get some answers!” Kaede proclaimed proudly. “Also, I want to give you this tip: the Danganronpa forums are a waste of time. I’ve been on here for weeks and only then stumbled into you guys.”

“Well, if we all go to school in the same prefecture, things would be a little easier. So you gotta let Rantaro know about this,” Kaito interjected. “Then… We could try to find the survivors.”

“Alright... But, what do we all get out of this besides a fancy reunion?” Kaede rebutted.

We were quiet for a moment and I bit my lip. “I want to be someone, Kaede. I don’t want to be nobody and treated like a fictional character with feelings that aren’t real and that I exist.”

“Yeah! And I want to be friends with everyone again!” Kaito said excitedly.

Kaede smiled. She had that same mix of shame and despair hidden in her expression.

“I guess I still have a lot to really understand about not generalizing humanity like that. At least… That’s what that piece of memory claims I said.”

“What do you mean? Didn’t you say that in the audition?” I asked.

“Well… I don’t remember an audition,” Kaede said and my heart sank.

Now I couldn’t trust what my real self said.

“We... Need to find the truth.”


	5. Animosity is a Drug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi deals with the reunion among the 130th Killing Class and his feelings with interacting with people. One thing is certain: This is just the start and he is going to start crawling on broken glass to reach the true self he and his friends will be looking for to bring onto the future of this world.

The past few weeks were a blur, most of the times I was in focus was when we were tracking down each of the 130th Killing Class. I felt alive seeking their locations but at the same time a looming dread continued to linger within me. Some nights, I would stir awake, cold sweat, sometimes I had to hold in a scream before gripping heavily into a pillow to shut myself up. The walls of the dorm were still paper thin and if someone heard me in the middle of the night, I would most likely get kicked out. In addition to that, several people in my dorm were already thinking I’m wasting their time. They know I have a free ride to live here and I feel their eyes on me. Everytime I turn they approach me as if nothing’s wrong but I feel them leering at me.

One night I got up and ran to my sink washing the sleep from my eyes and taking comfort in the cold water pressing against my face. It was freezing at times and I wondered if the pipes ever got insulated from the winter cool. In the dark and glow of dawn I could see my exhausted eyes from the reflection and my jaw hanging low. From one side I could see my scarf hanging from a hook. I felt more and more restless keeping my eyes on everything that felt real. I wanted to see robot bears, I wanted to see futuristic schools, and I wanted to see things beyond what felt real.

The real world was so bullshit. Expectations of society are always there, people demanding you do this but even though you want to try to do something, it’s nothing more than their way of controlling you. Sure, I admit that I probably am still a very controlling person, I mean why else did I run away from home? I didn’t want people to push me around and yet I care so much about their feelings. It’s just the way I cared is wrong. I’m wrong to take my own feelings into account, I’m wrong to not kiss their ass, I’m wrong to respect their so-called boundaries when all they’re doing is putting up walls to live their precious I’m-right-you’re-wrong life while claiming to be “starting a monologue”.

And that was what the forums were like too. Their discussions were all based on whether your opinions were deemed “the right ones”. One drop of hypocrisy is all it takes to shut your opinions down and it’s very much a formula that everyone follows. Let’s say it’s a hundred CCs of a reasonable and correct opinion, then you add ten CCs of a contradiction – in that formula alone is like putting baking soda into vinegar and everything gushes out and makes a mess. People focus on the mess and eventually, you could clean that up. What makes a hypocrisy an opinion is facts, but no one gets that at all. One wrong step and everyone thinks you are a goddamn terrorist.

My point with this is that no one gives a damn to listen to your opinions because they want to feel safe. In the end, I would most likely hear Shuichi shout “No, That’s Wrong!” by the time I try to say anything. You might wonder, gee Kokichi-kun, what wrong things have you done when you’re not who you were in the games? Answer: Everything everyone has told me my whole life. Gee Ouma-kun you’re not even athletic enough to play soccer! Ouma-kun plays with all the stray cats by himself, what a loser! Oh that Ouma is really stupid, you know? He doesn’t understand that I’m his senpai and therefore should be respected with my opinions! What’s that? He thinks it’s not reasonable to side with my decisions as student council president? He’s a delinquent!

I felt my heart tense as I rode the train back to my old neighborhood. They didn’t want to relocate me too far from my hometown but it still felt a ways away, almost three hours. Kaito and I would be renting a dorm nearby the cafe we would be meeting with Kaede and Rantaro, followed by some others she claimed to get a hold of. Kaito was tapping his foot without any rhythm. He was anxious and occasionally glanced at me. Then, we shared a bento at a park while waiting for Kaede to arrive. I couldn’t help but glance back at him as well. Sometimes the stray rice on his goatee looked almost charming to look at.

I want to say I liked him a lot but then I said, “You have rice on your goatee.”

I sighed and continued eating, waiting for Kaede to arrive. When she did, I didn’t really speak at first besides a few hellos and how are yous. She was cheerful at first, but I felt that leer I get when I see people around me. She despises me and I feel my neck tense just looking at how lifeless her eyes must look.

We all sat down at a cafe... One that I used to frequent to read manga… Kaede took a round table and set her bag down. By now, it was a bit late and after settling in the hostel, walking around with Kaito, buying bento and eating it for dinner, it must be around… Eight in the evening. Rantaro moved forward to our table after flipping the “WE’RE CLOSED” sign. He laid out how he struck a deal with the owner to close a bit earlier today and accommodate a celebrity’s private gathering.

Rantaro’s demeanor was a bit more visible. His arms were crossed and he was eyeing us from time to time. He didn’t trust any of us and I can tell someone who’s been backed into a corner wanting to escape. Among the few of us gathered, he sat next to me and didn’t speak. Then, the next person to come in was Himiko. She was dressed more casually but still wore her hat and I nodded as a greeting. She greeted Kaito with a teary and joyous demeanor but all I wanted to do was tell her how pathetic she was acting like he was who he was in the game.

“A-and hello Kokichi! I hope you weren’t hurt from...what happened,” she said reluctantly.

I swallowed and nodded, “Nah, it’s not a big...deal.” I tried to giggle the way my fictional self was but it felt more coarse and half-assed that everyone looked back at me with some confusion and Icouldn’t tell what they were all thinking when they heard me do that and I wanted to slink away from the conversation but Rantaro’s eyes glanced back at me and I froze, not moving my seat an inch.

The next person to come in was Maki and she was already tearing up looking at Kaito and smiling with a quivering lip. She ran up to him into an embrace and I clenched my fist. I wondered what it was like to be that bold and assured with her actions to do such a thing and I did my best not to show some jealousy.

“H-hey Maki-roll!” Kaito flushed and yet barely had any confidence to accept his feelings. Maki didn’t care as she was happy to see everyone and proudly reassure herself. She too had a bit of a reluctance on me, smiling gently before sitting next to Kaito and me. By then, the cafe owner told Rantaro to lock up for the night. He was starting to catch on that the entire group was the same class that was on TV but left to make sure to do whatever he pleased.

The entire group wasn’t talking about the Killing Game, instead talking about their current lives and whenever we did bring it up, it was mostly the same boring questions done to death. How did you survive? What happened next? Rantaro was pulled quickly to the hidden door and a prosthetic of himself was left on the ground for us to discover. Maki and Himiko mostly comforted Kaito and Kaede on how painful it all was.

Big fucking deal, I was almost slammed with a hydraulic press while I had a scratch in my arm getting an antidote. I felt the pursuing rage in me wanting to speak out on how we all went through something and we shouldn’t just be comforted the same way. It’s not a band-aid solution and we were all going to have to face the true despair of a cruel world that spits on everybody else. I knew Kaede would understand how I felt but I knew she was going to hate me. Everyone was happy and I hated coming back here. Why did we have to meet in such a shithole? Did someone do their research just to spite me? Well maybe I deserve it. No one is ever honest with me anyway and even Rantaro knows how that feels if he was like that in his weird survivor video.

The door opened and one of the faces I knew would bring some form of my downfall appeared: Shuichi’s. He waved and set his cap down and smiled, greeting all of us. Kaede was silent but tried to keep a smile. Everyone welcomed him and he sat right across from me and next to Kaede. I felt absolute helplessness as his eyes met me. He asked me about my circumstances and how I ended up back in the real world but I almost couldn’t handle it anymore.

“So, Kokichi! I heard you did your best to rally up everyone. Kaito told me-”

I interrupted Shuichi with a weak yell, “You’re one to fucking talk Shuichi. Where were you when you knew we were still alive?”

I clenched my fist and glared at him. I can’t remember who said he knew he was still alive... Was it Maki? No it must have been Himiko and her blind optimism. How did Kaito even find him? That, and the unreliability of our memories made me more and more uneasy. Kaede looked at me now with...agreement? No that shouldn’t be right. Rantaro looked at me and seemed to understand how I felt.

“Kokichi, calm down. Trying to start a new life is hard at times.” Himiko protested and was looking at me with some offense.

Kaito looked at me with embarrassment and I began gritting my teeth.

“No, he’s right… I mean, I should have at least devoted a bit more time looking for everyone instead of having you all do the work,” Shuichi reasoned.

“Are you listening to yourself right now, Shuichi? Kokichi just accused you for being incompetent.” Maki protested.

“Like how you were with your feelings with Kaito?” I snapped.

“Hey, leave her alone Kokichi! She’s still getting to the fact that we’re all fine.”

“We’re not fine, Kaito! We were possibly kidnapped by a buncha assholes who wanted to do some sick game and risk our lives for just a small ounce of fame that doesn’t matter in the end! We’re nobodies who get told to sink or swim, and what choice do we have than to do-”

“Shut the fuck up you brat!” Kaito yelled at me and clenched his fist but Maki held onto him, muttering something into his ear.

Everyone was quiet and I was left staring at me but I couldn’t handle it. My tears were running down and the heat from my cheeks kept putting a great deal onto me that I got up and ran outside and into the cool air. I sat on a nearby bench and began putting on my earphones and trying to drown out the thoughts in my head with something loud. I shut my eyes and for the first time in a while, screamed out into the air.

No one was around and I felt free. Free, but in a constant state of hell. With one exhale I kept thinking about all the nights I woke up wanting to scream. I kept seeing myself staring at the mirror over and over and over until my alarm rang. I was not getting any sleep and I kept doing this to myself, thinking of all the times where I knew everyone told me I was wrong. Now, I had a life that was both fictional and real with a list of crimes that I didn’t want to commit and written by a total wack job. I didn’t want to live in this circumstance and I didn’t want to exist.

The cafe door opened and I could see Shuichi from my periphery. He approached me and sat right next to me and to which I pulled back trying to get as far away as I can from him. I almost lost my balance but angrily I sat myself back up and pulled back my headphones to my neck. He tried his best to smile, but seeing my face probably drained it off right away.

“Hey, Kokichi. Can I ask you something?” He said to me and I looked at him with some offense. What was it? Did he want to know why I was the way I was? I was ready to say I didn’t know and that all my actions were such a blur.

“Just say it,” I spouted. Some of my intentions with those words were also an invitation for him to tell me off and condemn me to my past sins.  
“Are you lonely? And I mean before the games even started. I want to know why you reacted the way you did,” he said. It was just as I expected and it had the same feeling as the question in my head and I felt my heart sink even further. Lonely was definitely what I was and what caused it was a lot worse. Thinking back to opinions and how one drop of a contradiction makes it react, the same reaction can cause so many effects. One of which is loneliness.

“Shuichi... Stop making me feel this way…” I quietly muttered, choking on my words a bit, and began to cry even further. “You’re an Ultimate Detective, you get what I feel.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, then reaching out from a plastic bag that I just noticed and handing me a bottle of water. I took it and began drinking it a bit. Then, he took another deep breath and watched the mist fly off into the night.

“Whenever I see these bits of breath fly out, I’m always reminded of how precious our lives can be. We act and do things a certain way. Point being, it’s normal for you to feel this way and I get how you reacted. Loneliness...I imagine, is a bit of spite that you feel every day and how no one gets how you work.”

Hearing this with my own ears... Not that personality’s ears, was comforting.

“But, Kokichi – You need to be a bit more brave with yourself and not let these feelings get to you. I’m not saying you should ignore your feelings and pain at all. Otherwise, what I said during the finale would be just another lie. It might seem like they’re the total opposites but when you understand that giving into a spiteful feeling make you hurt even further and closes you in.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

“I was so happy to see everyone who had gathered and I’m sure you’ll be just as happy seeing everyone gathered back again. That’s why you did your best to find everyone again, right? You didn’t want to feel alone and wanted to see us all make a future together. I get that and I want you to keep that up. No one has to tell me why you act this way except yourself and it’s up to you if you want to listen to what I have to say. In the end, you might accept my words as a lie or truth. Just know, you’ve made such a bold and good step trying to be someone outside of the screen.”

I was silent, trying my best to absorb every world before crashing forwards into Shuichi and hugging him, letting out all the emotions that I demanded from my throat. After a bit, and wiping the tears onto my scarf, I sat up, drank a bit of water, and looked at Shuichi, now ready to speak.

“What I did back there was really stupid-”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“What I did back there was a bit rough, but it’s good to acknowledge that. I’m still healing from my own life and from how the world acts and I’m sure we all are. Knowing that I’m trustworthy to anyone is up to everyone else. We all thrive from hating each other and hating all the actions we take, whether we own up to it and try to grow from that is the deciding factor. We can all have conflicting reasons but... If we can make it right and it ends up being something that helps us... Maybe we should try to not feed into our anger. And… I guess you could take that as me saying I’m sorry. I don’t expect everyone to forgive me but… That’s a start.”

That’s what I began saying to the newly reunited (minus Tsumugi) 130th Class. As expected, everyone was reluctant.

“If you really are telling the truth, don’t bother. I still am a bit hung up from you setting me up,” Gonta said. It was so weird hearing him speak in first person. Yet, I understood how he felt. Starting now, we were all going to work together to change things. Animosity is a drug, and we all get addicted to it. Starting now, I was determined to keep trying to fight back against its influence.


	6. No Room, Mostly Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 130th Killing Class are forced to come to terms and make an agreement to bond among themselves but everything proves to be difficult. Someone needs to find a way and fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people! Sorry I haven't gotten around with updating. I've been really considering my writing and there's a lot of soul searching in me lately so I hope you all understand that. I'll try my best to bring up the next four chapters for the story. We're reaching into a new arc in the story that I'd like to call "A Lead to a Lie" arc. I hope that you enjoy this current body of work.

Shuichi began to cue the thirteen of us after my small speech. He knew they weren’t going to rally on the most-hated person of their recent memories. The table was set and it did feel like a class trial again, except we obviously weren’t fighting for a result. We were pining for everyone’s trusts again. The air was tense as Shuichi placed his hands on the table and took a deep breath. He had determination and guile to begin with a strong staredown at everyone, yet we knew the pressure he had to deal with. Our eyes festered in conflict: heat, goosebumps, sweat, fresh breezes, and lightheadedness. It was like having a revolver down on the table and we were all going to grab onto it.

“To start,” Shuichi spoke suddenly and snapped us all into this floating feeling. Some of us jolted in fear, gripped heavily onto anything we could grab, shifting eyes going left and right. “I want to make sure everyone keeps an open mind to this. I understand that all of you might be either afraid, angry, or just outright helpless. I want you all to understand that we’re all trying to get along and be friends for real.”

“After all we’ve been through you can’t just expect people to lump in with each other and expect them to get along, Shuichi.” Kirumi scoffed and crossed her arms.

“She’s got a point. Just because I managed to convince the owner to close early and meet up like this doesn’t mean we’re all chummy now knowing we’re all alive.” Rantaro took a sip from his coffee mug but quickly lowered it when Miu immediately chimed.

“S-Speak for yourself! You were in the last season and you were acting all heroic trying to save that season’s winners. Look what it got you! We all know you probably did that just to sweeten the pot even further!” Miu looked like she was going to cry… I wondered if there was some way I could at least try to calm her down but her tangent had already spurred the beginning of the mess.

“Now hold on just a second, there’s no way I was that dense and selfish enough to do that. You know how they are with their plot points! If I had any say right now, I would’ve just outright killed the executives in Danganronpa anyway for messing with my brain!” Rantaro had this anger that even I was surprised to hear.

“Oh? Then what’s to say you aren’t working for them and you’re just a mole to make sure we all held up our end of the deal?” Kaede immediately glared, further pressing. “Who’s to say this whole thing was set up to take advantage of Kokichi?”

“Take advantage of Kokichi? Wasn’t he supposed to be causing all the troubles in the first place? Why in hell do you think that little shit’s secretly laughing his ass off right now?” Kirumi pointed a finger at me and I grew more and more dizzy. What’s worse was that my alternate was now laughing, sitting on another table.

“This is hilarious! I can’t believe how dense they all are in real life! It’s obvious that you don’t have the mental capacity to even do the things I can do. What was it that Tsumugi said? Right… It’s a placebo effect you idiots!” He howled, pointing at me, giving me that knowing look but I shook it off and tried to control a wave of tears.

“If anything, he currently doesn’t seem to hold that sort of ability anyway. Even my so-called anthropology knowledge is only limited to a deep fascination to whatever the set design was. Sure, I could pull up cultural facts, but it’s at best a wikipedia article.” Korekiyo observed and everyone grew silent again.

“If one of us was the traitor, wouldn’t we just have a group of executives and lawyers already barge in on us and have all of us sign papers to take away all our stuff for violating anything? I mean, if they placed two of us in one school, then we obviously aren’t violating anything.” Ryoma said and everyone let out some sort of collective grievance. It must be really clear that we were all at least nervous of that.

“That clears up that one point that we don’t have a traitor amongst ourselves, but that still doesn’t explain why we should banner under one group. In fact, I think this might cause trouble for everyone and we might attract the wrong kind of attention.” Kaede said but then Himiko shook her head and carefully placed her magician hat down.

“No, see that’s not a good way to look at things, Kaede. We need to look out for each other and prove the world different. If we still let everyone feed into what they want them to think, then our voices and lives would be worthless to make a change.”

“And what if someone uses our being here and sell us out?” It was clear and straight to the point that Gonta still didn’t trust me and glared down. It wasn’t subtle at all and everyone grew uneasy again.

“No way, I’m not that k-kind of person, Gonta. They wrote me that way, remember?” I tried to convince him otherwise.

The odds were stacked worse when Ryoma spoke, “While I do agree that we all have nothing to worry about someone being a mole, we could still betray anybody we want for our own means of survival. I already know how many people who would have wanted to kill you, Kokichi.”

I gulped and couldn’t control my tears at this point.

“H-hey… You made him cry. B-but that could all just be an act… He could easily recover from that, right? Right?” Tenko felt heavy and began clutching at her chest uneasily.

I couldn’t control myself at all and I gripped onto my seat, my nails slightly digging onto the chair.

“I’m...not even sure anymore,” Angie was clearly disturbed.

“Guys, you’re doing the exact opposite of what we were set out to discuss here. Not to mention, we’re getting nowhere with this,” Maki immediately got up and slammed a hand onto the table. “You are all just pointing fingers at anyone who disagrees with what you’re thinking about. We’re not in a class trial anymore. We’re here to discuss how we can at least get along and protect ourselves.”

“Protect ourselves from a bunch of sweaty nerds on the internet? Maybe it’s for the better that we’re unknown anyway. We’re not ultimates and that’s that!” Angie’s pessimism was surprising enough but even I began to agree with it.

“Now hold on a sec. Wouldn’t it be better if we did use our experiences to become what we really want to be instead of just focusing on a bunch of words on a screen that some jackass wrote?” Kaito argued. “We could be so much more than a Danganronpa product and you all know that!”

“The world isn’t like that Kaito, they’re all materialistic bastards who want to treat people like products. What the fuck was the point of all of that optimism when you know you can’t even escape what was already set in stone!” Kaede snapped and there we were again in a deafening silence. Everything was crippling apart and I had already recovered from crying. What the hell could I do?

“Take control.” Kokichi said.

I looked to the corner and I gasped. Everyone looked at me and everything began to muffle. Kaito was saying some words but I looked back at myself and everything grew out of focus besides him.  
“Take control?” I said and he nodded.

Immediately I see myself back in front of that mirror in my dorm. This time, my reflection was of him and the glass felt sharper. A hairline crack stretched out through the mirror and the pressure on my lungs was slowly crushing out all the air. He was glaring at me and I dragged my finger across the mirror and began writing exactly as he said through the mirror. It wasn’t like a clear voice, but it was like understanding each lip flap.

My stomach grew uneasy as the thought of what I wrote grew clear. It was going to bring everyone together, but there needed to be a payoff. Something clear to make them understand that we needed to at least stick together and get along somehow. I needed to tell this story and actually shake them to their core.

Then I was back, turning to face all of them. Their voices were overlapping and complaining on how no one is trustworthy and that all of this was a farce meant to endanger all of us. I had to get their attention somehow. I know my previous self had to be arrogant but I felt I could do so much more.

“Would you all shut the fuck up for once?” My voice croaked as did my best to call attention to everyone. It was a start but I had to push this further. “First off, I’m tired of having these debates with all of you pointing the finger at me when I got something important to say in the first place!”

Everyone glanced with uneasiness.

“Go on…” Maki said with a bit of spite.

I bit my lip and nodded.

“We’re already being tracked by Team Danganronpa. I know it because of what happened in my school. Don’t you remember that girl, Kaito? The one who said Maki was her favorite? See, I tailed her home a bit and found her getting in a black limo with some executives I remembered.” I began and Kaito’s eyes widened.

“N-no way… her? She seemed so nice! I... I resent that a lot!” Sorry… I needed to at least take advantage of his gullible nature.

“That’s not all. Over the past few weeks, I figured out the cashier at the convenience store I worked at didn’t even give me my receipt when I bought my scarf. Proof? I keep a lot of receipts in my wallet. Which means, they’re tracking my purchases” I brought out my wallet and took out a stack of receipts and a few loose change and notes fell out. “Sorry.”

As I placed it back, I reflected on the truth: I did have receipts but I just tend to forget taking them out and throwing them away. I did eventually throw the one out though.

Shuichi looked at me in silence and I could tell he was catching on.

“Not to mention, I don’t doubt Rantaro’s a traitor, I think we could count the possibility that the owner is. So… We should all stick together, alright? I mean, we could choose not to get along, but if Team Danganronpa is plotting something, we could at least have a temporary alliance. If we do end up at least healing broken relationships and so? At least we got something out of this. It’s fourteen of us are against hate mobs and a big corporation. The least we could do is stick together and maybe use what we can to convince people otherwise.”

Everyone looked at each other, some slowly nodded, others reluctantly agreed. Shuichi got up and said, “There’s too many circumstances to not be a coincidence so… For now, we should all head back to wherever we’re staying, at least group together and figure something out. I know sticking with the murderer-victim deal is uncomfortable... But we’re different people now, ok?”  
Miu’s eyes hovered over me and Gonta but I nodded, trying to signal that I wasn’t trying anything.

While there was a bit of distrust within us all, we had to take that risk. There was a spy created out of several lies weaved in to a bit of truth. For now, that was where we left it off and what we planned to do was still up in the air.

I really hope we can find a payoff soon.


End file.
